Awkward Moments Define My Life: The Mommy Edition

I'll never forget the first time I took A to the mall...I was one of those Moms who are totally green around the gills and had NO idea whatsoever at all and not even a little bit what I was doing nearly all the time.

She was just a few months old and as cute as can be, if not a touch cranky, and I had her strapped into one of these contraptions: Mind you, this is not a Baby Bjorn $200 front carrier--this is a $14.99 Target Special carrier that did the job but wasn't high on comfort or luxury.

Anywho, my Mother and I sauntered around the great Carousel Center Mall and stopped at a make up counter to pick up some supplies. Of course, this wasn't a dimly lit, back corner kind of make up counter--this was Clinique all full of bright lights, white uniforms, white EVERYTHING for that matter... My Mother looked down at the ground horrified and said, "Michelle, watch out! Someone spilled coffee here!" Sure enough, I looked down and there was brown splotches everywhere--the Clinique counter, the Clinique Stools, the Clinique Floor...

Ew, Gross! What kind of person spills coffee and doesn't clean it up?!

And then I looked a little more closely at the splotches...and at my skirt...and my shirt and my darling sleeping baby who had just had explosive diarrhea for the first time, in the mall, at a brightly lit make up counter, on the brightly lit makeup counter and all over me...

Cheeks flaming I ran to the nearest bathroom and peeled A out of the front carrier (no small feat) and then proceeded to peel off all her clothes--somehow she had pooped all over everything--through no less than 15 layers of clothes--she was wearing two onesies (I was a new, crazy mom after all, exact outfit pictured here by the way), jeans, socks, diaper, coat, snugli carrier...AHHHH and of course there were no back up clothes in my diaper bag.

I sure learned my lesson that day!

I finally got her all cleaned up and cleaned myself up (because at this point the baby was crying and ya'll KNOW what this does to a breastfeeding mother in a light colored shirt, needless to say it wasn't pretty) and placed my now angry, barely clothed, sock less baby in the Snugli and made my way back down past the counter b/c that was the only route out of that particular department store.

Urgh, fortunately the ladies were uber nice and gave me free make up since they felt so sorry for me but I will never again think of Clinique, front carriers and coffee without cringing...