Picture this--I had just hit the trifecta of early 90s adolescence: short, badly permed hair, huge plastic framed glasses, and gleaming, silvery braces. For some unknown reason I had an over-developed sense of high self esteem and thought I was HOT stuff.
Easter time came around and I had a little money to burn for a fabulous new Easter dress so I went shopping at the Deb (like, the coolest place ever!). I scoured the racks until I found it--it was beautiful! lovely! grown up! It was a knee lenth, creamy colored, shoulder padded, button down the front-ed, short sleeved vision of a gown. I was in love with THAT dress! It didn't matter that it cost $30 (3 months worth of babysitting money) and wasn't on sale, I HAD to have it. I forked over my hard-earned dough and brought my new, fabulous dress home.
Finally, after what seemed like months, it was Easter and time to wear my awesome new dress! I still remember getting ready that day (I had to be like 12 yrs. old) and being SO EXCITED to go to church where hopefully my crush would be to see how devestatingly gorgeous I was. I walked into church and immediately received compliments and was feeling like, so totally awesome, when loudly (of course) and in front of all my peers in sunday school class (and MY CRUSH of course) a well-meaning but unfortunately loud English lady said--"OH MY GOODNESS! What is all over the back of your dress?" She followed that query with the most embarressing sentence uttered to me in all my life--"Is it THAT time of the month?" In her defense she DID whisper this, unfortunately she whispered it to my mother so everyone could hear...
I was devestated! I ran to the little girls room and took a look at my dress which was covered on the back with a thousand flecks of red something. Apparently my brothers and I had been eating red candy in the backseat of the car, which had flaked onto the seat and then embedded itself in my gleaming ivory dress.
Eventually I took the long walk back to my Sunday School Classroom, enshrouded this time in my mother's floor lenth coat.
Urgh. I'm still twitching...
The good news is I lived through that day. The bad news is that the dress was dry cleaned and it lived through that day too and I went on to wear it many a time.
I'm like, so totally glad that Junior High is so like totally far in the past...
3 comments:
Aren't you glad those days are behind us?! I think we all have a story or two like that :)
oh man! What was he lady thinking! Can't she tell the difference between blood and candy! Jeez! :)
ha! i wish i could say i didn't have one of "those" stories. unfortunately, i have a few :(
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