Awkward Moments Define My Life: Mommy Edition A.K.A. My face is still red...

It's time for another scintillating installment of Awkward Moments--this one brought to you by A and it just happened last night so the embarrassment factor is still going strong.... Ah, children--you've changed me forever--I'll never be cool again.

High off of my successful concert viewing night with M I decided to do the unthinkable and take both girls to Mr. Wonderful's last full concert at a local church (just a mile or so from the home). I scrubbed and brushed and dressed and tidied them (and me) up and off we went! We got to church just 5 minutes before the service was to start and I raced up to my husband and asked where the nursery was so that A could play. A was REALLY looking forward to playing in a "new nursery." She loves new nursery. I love new nursery because it gives my toddler joy and anything that gives her joy gives me JOY (and a few minutes to myself!). He wasn't sure so he asked a student, who wasn't sure, so he asked the student's mother who proclaimed, "Well, our church doesn't have nursery Sunday nights!'

And then my world came crashing down.

And then I told A and HER world came crashing down.

It wasn't pretty.

But service was just starting so I figured I could make due with the one small packet of fruit snacks I brought for her and M's one toy to entertain them both during the service. Mr. Wonderful brought his students up to sing and I told A--"See, you don't need nursery--we can watch Daddy and the big kids sing!"

This is when she decided that she wanted to watch them close.

REAL close.

She edged to the corner of the pew (along the wall of the church) and started to walk up the aisle. I caught her gaze and mouthed, "NO!" So, she sheepishly came back. Whew! Crisis averted. I mean, with one super duper wiggly baby in my hands I really didn't have a free one to wrangle a toddler--especially one that can throw a mean hissy fit when she doesn't get her way. Luckily it didn't come down to that and she sat next to me. Until....they started to sing "her song."

A spends a lot of time with Mr. Wonderful and his kids and knows most of their choir songs. She says they are "her" songs to sing and loves to sing with them! A's eyes lit up and she told me she was just going to look at the kids. She walked to the far end of our very long, very narrow pew (towards the center aisle). She gazed at me with a sheepish look. And then, THE GRIN. The grin that says, "Well, Mama, I hope you know I'm going to really embarrass you right now!" And boy did she.

She smiles and then took off up the center aisle. Walking quickly up to Mr. Wonderful and all of his singing students. Up the WHOLE church as we were in the far back pew. Up in front of 150 people--many whom I knew, worked with, taught and strangers of course. Up past the 15 other kids her age who were sitting quietly and well with their parents. Right up next to the piano where she stopped gazing at her father who was oblivious to her presence but assumed she was there as the kids were laughing out loud while they were trying to sing.

Ah. That took my pride down a notch--let me tell ya!

I finally edged my way to the inside of the long, narrow pew--holding my wiggly little baby who wanted to crawl and roll away from me. And I sat there. Frozen. It felt like an eternity but was probably only a few seconds. I knew there was no way I could walk up the center aisle with my wiggling baby only to grab a toddler who would probably scream bloody murder and completely ruin the song. So I sat. And I looked around at a lot of faces that were looking back at me--all of those faces were saying, "huh, I wonder what she's gonna do about this?"

And I had no idea.

Until a strange man came up to me and asked if I wanted him to get A for me. I said yes all the while thinking--she'll never go with a strange man she doesn't know. Ah. My stomach hurts just thinking about it.

He walked up the aisle, whispered something to A, scooped her up and brought her back to me (she was frozen in fear the entire time) where she promptly melted to the floor and started weeping and gnashing her teeth about wanting to sing with the big kids.

I comforted her the best I could with the wiggly baby in my arms and convinced her to come and sit down with me (luckily she stopped crying before the song ended so not everyone heard her). She listened quietly for a while as M continued to bash me with her head looking for an escape. I finally decided to take A to the bathroom for a diversion when an old lady saw me and took pity and opened up the nursery for me. I hurriedly explained that I never would have brought both of them by myself if I had known they didn't have nursery on Sunday nights and she replied...

"Well, we don't have nursery but all of our children always just sit perfectly still and listen."

Thanks. Thanks so much.

Never again I say! Never again! Will I take them both by myself to wrangle and to wrestle. I'll be calling ahead from now on to find out if there is nursery! Yikes. My stomach seriously still hurts just thinking about it. I don't think I'll ever be the same.