i am a perfectionist.
i can't leave well enough alone and
i can improve something--anything, i will obsess over it in my mind until it's done.
but i must--i am compelled to DO.
i asked my husband, "why am i this way? why do i make these choices? what does this say about me?"
he said nice things, like he always does.
and then i asked him if it is all pride.
he shrugged and said, "probably."
(i think it's more like--*controlcontrolcontrol*)
so what do i do?
i am only competing with myself and doesn't that seem silly?
i'm not interested in meeting any standards excepting the impossible ones i set for myself, my home, my children and my husband.
i need to let. it. go.
there are other standards, that are not my own, that are infinitely more important.
(Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. phil. 4:8 love your neighbor as yourself james4:8)
but i just keep grasping so tightly to the things that don't matter that you couldn't pry my fingers off if you tried.