Saturday, August 30, 2008

Never Say Never: The Never-Ending Story of Parenthood--No Rest For The Weary

Sometimes I feel as though parenthood is one never ending marathon with no cool prizes or sporty ensembles to help get you through it.
It is an endurance battle to the end with no pinch hitters or safety nets until your beloved(s) grow up and go feather their own nest elsewhere...
Let me explain where I'm going with all this:
Back in the day when Amelie was a baby she slept next to us in a pack and play and moved to her big girl crib at about 6 months. This arrangement worked well for us--she has always been a CHAMPION (long, sound, frequent, sleeper) her entire life--
*Praise God for small miracles*
Maeve started out the same way--sleeping soundly in her crib, sleeping through the night...etc...
Until, she started getting monstrous screaming all night long ear infections.
She had 5 of them in her first 6 months of life--and it was horrible!
She would literally, SCREAM all night in pain and wouldn't be able to sleep unless she was sleeping on my chest or on the bed next to me.
It got to the point where her ear infections were so frequent that I wasn't sure if she had one when she screamed as I laid her down (the first sure sign) or if she was starting to resist sleeping alone....
4 months later however....she is resisting BIG TIME!
This Mama who said, "I'd never sleep with my baby! It's dangerous! It's annoying! It doesn't foster proper sleep Independence!"
Hello, my name is Shelly and I am a co-sleeper.
I NEVER thought that day would come!
So now, as I am "trying" to break Maeve of the co-sleeping habit I find I'm at a loss.
She puts herself to sleep beautifully during the day for naps so I know that it can be done (esp. since she does it every single day two or three times!).
It's only at night when she screams bloody murder at being laid down.
I decided I was going to let her cry it out--but I am a wimp and after 30 minutes of hearing her SCREAM AT THE TOP OF HER PRECIOUS BABY LUNGS
I rescue her and her sweaty little head.
She sleeps beautifully in our arms or on our bed but pops to wakefulness the minute her head hits the crib.
I know technically with crying it out that you are supposed to let them cry for as long as it takes but I dont' have it in me!
My new idea is to lay her down and sit next to her crib until she falls asleep--at least that way she won't be suffering alone...
I'll let you know how it goes--Parenthood--it's an uphill battle baby!


Julie said...

Oh, that is SO hard!! We went through that with both Puckey & Jib.

The sitting next to M's crib idea is a good one...and what you could try is each night, scoot a little further away until you make it to the door.

I know it's tough, but really try to resist the urge to pick her up and hold her. (I myself cried numerous tears during that stage)

Prayin' for you, sista!!

Anonymous said...

I couldn't do it either with my firstborn. Unfortunately, she was 8 before she slept in her own bed. If I had to do it again...... But, being right in the middle of it is not so easy, so I don't know if I really would have done it differently. I tried, really I did. One night for 2 hours of screaming!

Ree said...

I've been there Michelle!! I alctually bought a book on the subject because I was at my wits end!! You are more than welcome to it!! I will drop it off for ya!!!

~Dawn~ said...

ouch, this one could hurt in the long run. My niece is 2 and honest to goodness has never slept a night in her own room, except at her dad's.

SarahV said...

at least your trying now and not later! the sooner the better :) i'll be praying that the transition is smooth for both of you.

Tribe Mama said...

Hmm, been there,...still there!

My oldest was a sick baby and needed to sleep with us, and I still wake to find her on my floor (she is 8). My middle was the best of the bunch, she has always slept well on her own and is the least likely to show up in the night, except the last two nights when she has had nightmares (she is 6.) My babe is now 4 and up until last December almost NEVER came into bed, then he got sick and hospitalized and ever since, he sleeps with me most nights. Thankfully my husband works nights and we have a king sized bed. House rule is, if I know you are there, you have to leave, if you don't wake me, we are OK!

I figure they will all sleep alone someday, and as long as we all sleep, we are ok. Just my experience :)

charmed1 said...

I have to say that I am totally against the co-sleeping thing. I think it's ridiculous. But that is my opinion. There are obviously exceptions for some such as sick children. I never did that with any of mine. That's not to say that my kids have never slept with me before. I know that it's going to be hard for you but let her cry it out. It may take a week or so but she'll get it. She knows that she has you in the palm of her hand. You have to be strong,Shelle!

A Jersey Girl said...

My mother gave me ONE and only ONE piece of parenting advice, I am going to share it with you so you never again have to eat your words, here goes: She said," Don't ever use the phrase MY CHILD WILL NEVER" and wow has that helped me out. I never have to go back on your word. Just stick with phrases like, I HOPE NOT TO, I WISH MY CHILD WOULDN'T, I AM GOING TO TRY TO/NOT TO.

My sister did not take this advice and swore that her child(who is 7 months old) would never sleep with them, um she has co-slept every night:) The best laid plans. I have three kids and have done both based on the child, sometimes you just gotta sleep:)