Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Vignetts of a Crazy Feisty Southern Mother In Law

Said Mother in law may or may not have:
*furiously debated with your husband that the size of his feet are far too wide to fit into any normal shoes (fyi--his feet are normal--but she could not be convinced of that even with 30 years of proof otherwise)
*will loudly proclaim in the mall that your husband needs UNDERWEAR--"YOU NEED UNDERWEAR! GET SOME UNDERWEAR! I FOUND SOME UNDERWEAR!"
*will expect your three year old to act like a 30 year old
-->will pick fights with her just to bug her
-->will take toys from her just to bug her
-->will try to verbally discipline her just to bug me
-->will chastise her for being "bugged"
*will bemoan and bewail the fact that you will not allow your child to dangle precariously on a high ledge for the sake of a "great" picture
*will decide she MUST play with the baby only when Mommy says it's nap, feeding or changing time
*will tell you that she will buy you clothes but that there is no possible way that anything inside Target will or could fit you because "You need to go to a special store for your clothes." (um, no I don't , thanks, pretty sure we wear the same size).
*will talk to EVERYONE, in depth, about anything and nothing
*will tell everyone she's within 1 mile of that she's from Florida
*will complain about everything and everyone she comes in contact with. more than once. about the same things. over and over and over.
*will hate everything you cook for her.
*will spend a lot of money on you therefore making you feel guilty that you were annoyed with her in the first place.

the end for now but more to come!
away I must go to pack furiously for NY--so much to do and so little time to do it!


A Jersey Girl said...

After two weeks with the in-laws, that was just the post I needed to read:) I am happy not to be the only one with that MIL:)


Madre said...

Sooooo very glad that there is still a sense of humor detected in the tales of "THE VISIT". As our fav' Peony always says: Life is great if you don't weaken!

Stay strong my darling.....see you SOON !!!

Lindsay said...

Oh, I'm so sorry! Mother-in-law relationships can be so hard. Isn't it nice to have a place to vent? Although I hope she doesn't read this :)

Devin said...

Wait a minute....you mean I am not the only one with a MIL like that?!?

Too, too funny Shelly....

Julie said...

You are such a great storyteller. I'm glad you survived your mil's visit. (Otherwise, where else could I get my great real-life humor fix??)

Makes me evermore thankful that my mil and I get along better than me and my own mom do.

Can't wait to see pictures from the wedding!! Looking forward to seeing your dress (on you, not on that 3lb model wearing it in the picture you posted before...) - I bet you'll look fabulous!

Ree said...

MY MIL isn't like that but my SIL is!! She always does the same to MY 3yo which IRRITATES me to no end!! She gets it enough from her brothers, she doesn't need it from her aunt!

Pamela said...

My MIL is a saint, but my *husband's* MIL is a pain in the keister. I truly thought that Mr. Wonderful was my long-lost brother by the way you were describing my/his mom.
Thank goodness for going home!

charmed1 said...

MIL's - gotta love em. No we don't! Mine can be a royal pain in the >+*! She lives about 20 minutes away and I thank God that she can't drive or she'd be driving me crazy all the time!

You're coming to NY? Got time to get together? Email me :)