Wednesday, July 16, 2008

If you've ever doubted that God was in control--now's the time to be convinced otherwise...

As most of my closest friends now, I had a job interview today!
For some "strange" reason over the weekend I became increasingly panicked convinced that I needed a job.
I sat in front of the computer and searched through career builder, found two jobs immediately that were perfect and sent out my applications on Monday (even though I had already missed the application deadlines).
Tuesday I got called in for an interview for today!
I was so nervous alllll morning--couldn't eat, couldn't focus--stressed! I haven't had a real interview EVER! My first job all I did was sit down with the head teacher who thought I was so nice that she convinced the principal to hire me on the spot even though I was completely ill-qualified, my second real job the principal sought me out and offered me the job and asked merely,
"How much money do you want?'
I was so nervous today! (did I say that already?)
I had Mr. Wonderful come home early so that I could prepare, get the perfect outfit (a brown dress with killer accessories if you must know)....drove to the school (only 3 miles away) early and sat and waited...
and waited....
My heart was beating furiously! I was watching the seconds tick by and dying in that seat!
I knew I was perfect for the job--teaching art to at risk students--I've already done it! teaching from 3-:5:30 every day--which fits perfectly with my husband's teaching schedule so no babysitters required, or maybe, only a sitter for an hour sometimes, $40 an hour--it would be worth it for me to work for that much! We're not talking peanuts here people!
On the way out the door I was searching for paper to write down some questions on and I couldn't find anything! AHHHHH!
Just as I was about to go insane I remember that when I reorganized the toys two weeks ago that I had found an old journal--I found it easily on the bookshelf and took off.
So...here I am, still nervous--fast heart beating, sweating, dying in the chair, When I open the journal and found this written inside:
"When I feel alone or doubtful"
Does He who made the ear not hear?
Does He who formed the eye not see?
Does he who teaches man lack knowledge?
Unless the Lord had given me help, I would soon have dwelt in the silence of death. When I said, "My foot is slipping."
Your love, O Lord, supported me.
When anxiety was great within me your consolation brought joy to my soul."
Psalms 94:9,10, 17-19
I only wrote a couple of entries in the journal all the way when I moved to New Jersey with S to get married! I wrote about all my fears and worries about looking for a job but also about all the peace I had that I was in the right place (at that time, sitting at BHS subbing for teachers!)
Let me tell you, reading through these verses 10 times really did the trick.
I was calm.
I had peace.
I walked in, answered their questions, convinced them I knew what I was doing, it went really well!
The principal had that look in his eye...you know, that look, like he wanted me to work for him! He actually worked for Arch*** where I got my start and even though my application had been sent in late he liked my experience and wanted to meet me. He said I knew exactly the type of approach he wanted a teacher to take with his students. He wanted to show me the classroom.
It was exactly like walking into Arch*** all those years ago--walking into a woodshop that would be converted to a classroom. No supplies. Nothing to work with. No tables, nothin!
BUT a budget, new computers and tables and A.C. on the way.
He sat me down and told me that he didn't want to play games and that I was perfect for the job, and that he had two names he was going to give the superintendant but that he was going to throw them away and only give him my name because I was perfect for the job.
God is good.
I'm fearful.
I don't know if I'm ready to start my own program again and go through that first year feeling again and leave my babies (I KNOW it's only two hours a day...but...) and all those other "what if's".
But I knew that when I sat in the conference room and opened that journal and read that verse that I was exactly, at this moment, EXACTLY where I was supposed to be.
God has a plan and I am right in the middle of it.
Glory be to God!
Now if only I could make a decision with peace--lot's of praying to do tonight!

8 comments:

Sheri said...

WOW Michelle! Thats AWESOME!!! I know you still have a decision to make, but it sure looks to me like God has opened all the doors for you guys!!!!

It sounds like it might be a little bit hard at first, but, man........I know I am not you,so take this with a grain of salt..... but if I had the oppertunity to use my degree 10-12 hours a week (ok I know I am using it with Sam, but outside the home:))and NOT have to need daycare- or at least very little, wow, I'd be siked!!! and as far as the pay goes...thats pretty darn good- especially when you consider Jon(when he was in residency- as a medical doctor) made 40 dollars an hour when he moonlighted in the ICU at NIGHT- ALL NIGHT long! Can you believe that!

Anyways, its not about that....I am sooooo siked for this oppertunity for you....even if you decide its not right for now, how awesome that they WANT YOU:) Way to GO!

BluSkies80 said...

Hey! Sounds like it went great! So happy for you! I know that even when there are opportunities that present themselves it's still hard to take that step. I'm sure you'll make the right decision though. I'll keep you in my prayers!

charmed1 said...

That's awesome news Shelle! You must be so excited! That's awesome that they want you! I know you will make the right decision so good luck and congrats! :)

Emily said...

Woah, Glory! How totally pre-ordained was this whole shebang? I'm so impressed with God right now, I could just ... sing!
Thanks for the spiritual encouragement. As far as the teaching a few hours a week thing- it's pretty fab!

Madre said...

there is a saying that is ringing in my ears, my dear girl and it goes like this:

"the Will of GOD will never lead
you where the GRACE of GOD cannot keep you"

He truly is worthy to be trusted!
I am praying that HE will direct you and fill your heart with HIS peace at your decision.

Janet said...

Aw, Michelle. I just got chills! What great verses!

Pamela said...

I found you through CFHusband, and I have been reading/stalking for a while now. You are so sweet and lovely, and the way you glorify God in all things is awesome. He's so not going to let you down. What an awesome story to tell your children. I'll be praying for peace for you.

Ree said...

Whatever you choose it is what is best for you and the kiddies. It is a wonderful opportunity!! I would love to have one like it!! Keep The Faith!!