If you've ever doubted that God was in control--now's the time to be convinced otherwise...

As most of my closest friends now, I had a job interview today!

For some "strange" reason over the weekend I became increasingly panicked convinced that I needed a job.
I sat in front of the computer and searched through career builder, found two jobs immediately that were perfect and sent out my applications on Monday (even though I had already missed the application deadlines).

Tuesday I got called in for an interview for today!

I was so nervous alllll morning--couldn't eat, couldn't focus--stressed! I haven't had a real interview EVER! My first job all I did was sit down with the head teacher who thought I was so nice that she convinced the principal to hire me on the spot even though I was completely ill-qualified, my second real job the principal sought me out and offered me the job and asked merely,

"How much money do you want?'

I was so nervous today! (did I say that already?)

I had Mr. Wonderful come home early so that I could prepare, get the perfect outfit (a brown dress with killer accessories if you must know)....drove to the school (only 3 miles away) early and sat and waited...

and waited....

My heart was beating furiously! I was watching the seconds tick by and dying in that seat!

I knew I was perfect for the job--teaching art to at risk students--I've already done it! teaching from 3-:5:30 every day--which fits perfectly with my husband's teaching schedule so no babysitters required, or maybe, only a sitter for an hour sometimes, $40 an hour--it would be worth it for me to work for that much! We're not talking peanuts here people!

On the way out the door I was searching for paper to write down some questions on and I couldn't find anything! AHHHHH!

Just as I was about to go insane I remember that when I reorganized the toys two weeks ago that I had found an old journal--I found it easily on the bookshelf and took off.
So...here I am, still nervous--fast heart beating, sweating, dying in the chair, When I open the journal and found this written inside:

"When I feel alone or doubtful"

Does He who made the ear not hear?

Does He who formed the eye not see?

Does he who teaches man lack knowledge?

Unless the Lord had given me help, I would soon have dwelt in the silence of death. When I said, "My foot is slipping."

Your love, O Lord, supported me.

When anxiety was great within me your consolation brought joy to my soul."

Psalms 94:9,10, 17-19

I only wrote a couple of entries in the journal all the way when I moved to New Jersey with S to get married! I wrote about all my fears and worries about looking for a job but also about all the peace I had that I was in the right place (at that time, sitting at BHS subbing for teachers!)

Let me tell you, reading through these verses 10 times really did the trick.

I was calm.

I had peace.

I walked in, answered their questions, convinced them I knew what I was doing, it went really well!

The principal had that look in his eye...you know, that look, like he wanted me to work for him! He actually worked for Arch*** where I got my start and even though my application had been sent in late he liked my experience and wanted to meet me. He said I knew exactly the type of approach he wanted a teacher to take with his students. He wanted to show me the classroom.

It was exactly like walking into Arch*** all those years ago--walking into a woodshop that would be converted to a classroom. No supplies. Nothing to work with. No tables, nothin!

BUT a budget, new computers and tables and A.C. on the way.

He sat me down and told me that he didn't want to play games and that I was perfect for the job, and that he had two names he was going to give the superintendant but that he was going to throw them away and only give him my name because I was perfect for the job.

God is good.

I'm fearful.

I don't know if I'm ready to start my own program again and go through that first year feeling again and leave my babies (I KNOW it's only two hours a day...but...) and all those other "what if's".

But I knew that when I sat in the conference room and opened that journal and read that verse that I was exactly, at this moment, EXACTLY where I was supposed to be.

God has a plan and I am right in the middle of it.

Glory be to God!

Now if only I could make a decision with peace--lot's of praying to do tonight!